Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Coping with Being Self-Destructive
I have a self-destructive personality. That is why I became an alcoholic, ( I have been sober and clean now since 11-16-2007) one of the reasons why I over eat...A lot of things in my life are going beautifully now and while I love that, I sense an undercurrent of it won't last, something will go wrong...old behavior that kept my life in crisis mode for so many years of my life.
I have had in my past the tendency to screw myself up when things are going well for me. I want to be able to fully recognize and accept this about myself because for me, when I recognize, face and accept my behavior where I derail myself, I can work on it and change it so I don't continue to do that.
I have my therapy session this Friday and I will discuss this at length with Sandy, but I see myself also realizing that it is ok for me to be happy and content regardless of what is happening around me. Life has it's ups and downs, how I handle those ups and downs are what is important. And also having my meds properly adjusted makes a big difference too, LOL I laugh at that but for me, it is the absolute truth! I have tried to navigate my life with my anti-depressants and I cried all the time, it was awful. I feel much happier now and much more hopeful as well.